Hello there son.
|Real Name:||Jonathon Kent|
|Relatives:||Martha Kent (wife)|
|Likes:||Beating Up Clark Kent|
|1st Appearance:||Superman 2|
|Quotes - Gallery - Appearances|
|“||Come 'ere you little tyke!||”|
–Jonathon calling out a god.
Jonathon Kent is a drunk redneck from Kansas. He was Clark Kent's adoptive father for some time, but was eventually arrested for hitting Clark with a stick. Clark was completely indestructible, but that's beside the point.
Jonathon was just tending his farm one day when suddenly, a meteor crashes right into his corn field. He curses "those damned aliens!" His wife calls him stupid for believing in that nonsense. He goes over, takes the alien baby out of its pod, and then points and laughs at Martha for a good twenty minutes. During that time, Martha decided that he most reasonable course of action was to adopt the potentially deadly alien baby that they knew nothing about.
After many years, Jonathon had become more drunk and more violent. Any time Clark did anything wrong, he would hit the boy. Clark would then beat the ever living crap out of Jonathon, but nobody ever talks about that. Eventually people caught onto this, and Jonathon was arrested. He now spends his days beating other inmates in prison.
Powers and AbilitiesEdit
- "A Good Wallopin' Hand": As Jonathon will tell to anyone who listens, he has "a good wallopin' hand". This hand is usually accompanied by a belt, or perhaps a large stick. We're not sure if this actually qualifies as an ability, but it's really all he's good for.
- Alcoholism: Jonathon Kent is quite the alcoholic. He's always drinking. Even when he isn't drinking, he's drinking. In fact, he once went a whole year without alcohol, but somehow drank every day that year.
- Redneck Education: As he never actually went to a real school, Jonathon Kent has a redneck education. Redneck education, by the way, is a fancy way of saying nobody taught him anything and he's "stupider than a sack of hammers".