Captain America #8 is the peak of human mistakes in comic book form. It was first published before you were born (unless you're an old person).

Captain America Fights the MonstersEdit


Captain America is hiding in a graveyard, waiting to ambush the Nazis. There weren't any Nazis within twenty miles of his location, but Captain America is a special kind of stupid. While waiting for the Nazis to show up, Cap realized that he was surrounded by a bunch of monsters. He drew his pistol and tried shooting at them only to realize that his pistol was actually a killer teddy bear. He ripped the bear's head off, and threw it into the crowd of monsters where it exploded like a grenade. Then he threw his shield, which ricocheted and smacked him in the face.

Captain America woke up three hours later and decided that was the last time he use hallucinogenics before a mission.


Captain America SingsEdit


Captain America is forced to take some time off from the military (apparently he's "too violent" and "a danger to his fellow soldiers"). During this time, Cap decides that he needs to go sing at the Super Bowl. He flies out about an hour before it starts, and kidnaps the entire NFL. Then when it starts, Cap goes to the microphone and sings the national anthem. Except he decided to make a few changes. He was booed off the stage for including racial slurs in his version of the song.



  • Despite his promise, Cap continues to use hallucinogenics in battle to this day.
  • The Super Bowl wasn't actually a thing when this comic book was published, but Captain America is so American he made it a thing with sheer willpower and elbow grease.
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