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Batman
Batman

Were you expecting something more hardcore?

Real Name: Bruce Wayne
AKA: The Caped Crusader
Alignment: Fear
Affiliation: Justice League, Dynamic Duo
Relatives: Thomas Wayne (father), Martha Wayne (mother)
Gender: Male
Unusual Features: Pointy Ears
Occupation: Billionaire
Playah!
Education: Trained across the world with the greatest minds.
Species: Human
Home: Gotham City
Likes: Robin, Bats, Crime Fighting, Robin, Being Awesome, Robin
Dislikes: Bats
Quotes - Gallery - Appearances


I'm Batman!

–You don't say?

Batman is who you wish you were. By day, he is a billionaire playboy Bruce Wayne. By night, he is the great Caped Crusader, a drunk guy dressed up in a bat costume fighting people (just like my high school graduation).

Batman is one of the most popular superheroes in the world, which is odd considering the fact that all he does is dresses up like a bat and climbs across rooftops. To this day he is the sworn protector of Gotham City and the hobos that reside within it.

Funny-batman-pictures-2

Batman's alter ego, Fatman!

Batman is dumb because he doesn't have any powers. His only special ability is to take a dump on people's head like a real bat. It was believed that Fatman was Batman's alter-ego.

History[]

Becoming Batman[]

It was just one bad day. And not a bad day like you missed your flight. It was "your parents were just shot right in front of you" bad. Fortunately the kid inherited so much money, he nearly drowned when the first dump truck rolled around to drop cash on him. He had to go to the hospital by the time the coins were dropped on him.

Arriving at the hospital, the doctors found out that all of the coins falling on his head had caused severe brain damage. When asked what this could do to the kid, the doctor said "I don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if this kid grows up into some lunatic that dresses up like animals and runs across building tops. I can't say for sure, but that's by far the most likely scenario." The doctor was then fired for giving such a stupid diagnosis. Bruce was released without further treatment.

He spent the next several years training to peak physical and mental condition. At least, he started to. He got tired and gave up about ten minutes into his first exercise routine with Alfred. He just pretended to work out so he could become BATMAN.

Powers and Abilities[]

Powers[]

None. He doesn't need powers because HE'S BATMAN!

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